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| I have a meeting with the florist today at one o'clock. She's going to do my bouquet and Nate's corsage. (Let's think---big stargazer lilies, pink tea roses, lavender, bluebells....*knock knock knock* let me in! let me in! I wanna smell pretty flowers!!!)
The alterations for my dress are done. I get to pick it up next Tuesday morning. It had to be hemmed a little more than two inches in the front---with the detail, the applique' had to be detached from the lace netting, moved up two inches, blended with the rest of the applique and sewn back onto the netting. My poor seamstress!! She said it took her over three hours. Now she just has to put a layer of soft, transparent material under the shoulder straps, because the lace pokes me and I end up with red shoulders. 
I found my bridesmaids' gifts. They are going to LOVE them.
Going to the dentist tomorrow. One of my fillings (weak enamel---i have lots) broke out of the tooth, so i have a pretty painful mouth at the moment. I would say that i'm looking forward to it, but HOW can ANYONE look forward to going to a dude who sticks a drill in your mouth??? Come ON. Who would wanna be a dentist? Not me.
Three weeks left at my job. Man. I've been here four-and-a-half years, and we're down to the last three weeks. It's so weird. At this point, i'm planning to take a month off and rest up, get acclimated and try to learn my way around the area before getting a job. My resume' is on Monster, and so far I've only gotten offers from corporate office-type companies, wanting me to be a mortgage agent, a loan officer and some sort of management position. I'm just not interested in being a part of Corporate America any longer, quite frankly, no matter how much it pays.
Thirty-one days. Righteous bovine. | | |
| It is coming so quickly. So, so very quickly. I blink, and the day is done and i'm back in bed. It's weird how fast the time is going by.
The only big hang-up we're having is that we discovered on Monday that our reception area is far too small for our number of guests (two hundred and twenty-five). The pastor was a bit misleading when he told us how many it would seat---- one hundred and seventy-five, he said. We thought we could squish a little, cut some corners here and there.......He didn't mention until Monday that it can only fit that many in the room if they are sitting elbow-to-elbow! I was a little upset to gain that un-aforementioned information, and to realize that we would have no room for a head table, coffee table, punch/water tables, or any of the station tables we've planned with our caterer. So now we're looking for a new location for the reception. If the new location for the reception is another church, then i'd rather just move the whole ceremony to another place rather than go to two different churches in one evening.
Kind of a bit of a wrench in the system. The budget is now a little shaky, because we'd allotted a certain dollar amount for church/reception rental, and we don't know how much the new place (once we find it) is going to cost. I'm really not that worried about it, because i know that God has the perfect place for our wedding....but I really would like to see it handled fairly soon. It's so hard to mentally picture the wedding when you don't know what the church looks like, or if there are steps, or one aisle or three----when you don't know ANYTHING all of a sudden. *sigh* It's not a big deal, or the end of the world, but it would be nice if God would open the right door. Like, um....soon would be nice. :)
Everything else is getting handled pretty well. Just details. Working on the order of ceremony and picking out the songs, reserving the hotel rooms for our out-of-town guests, ordering the favors and making corsages and bouquets in the evenings. I'm finalizing the decorations, and we'll be getting those soon. Tulle, lights, candles, rose petals----it is going to be SO beautiful. My work gave me the surprise of my life when they bought me a retreat package at the Spalon Montage here in the Twin Cities. So on Wednesday of Wedding Week, I'll be spending from 10:00 in the morning until 5:00 in the evening getting pampered and massaged and manicured and pedicured and just generally beautified. I am looking forward to that more than anybody will ever know! :)
The book Sheet Music has become a good friend. I highly, highly recommend that to my dear soon-to-be-married (or even already married!) friends. Just wait until you're a matter of days before the wedding. Being prepared is GOOD---having too long to anticipate can be just plain frustrating. :) Married life is going to be...well, let's just call it a real trip. *grin* Love you guys.
THIRTY-FOUR DAYS. Praise the Lord. | | |
| I have officially lost my mind.
*bwah bwah bwah* (think warning sirens on a nuclear submarine) *bwah bwah bwah* All dudes to the topside port deck or whatever-hoozit! Pronto! She's gonna blow! Abandon ship! ABANDON SHIP!!!! I am telling you, my brain is just....*poof*...gone. It's like a sponge that is totally soaked, totally full, and anything else that tries to stick just rolls off the sides. I can't remember things, details just slip through my brain waves, in the middle of a conversation i forget what we'd been talking about----Beware, brides! This WILL happen to you! It would SURE be nice if there were any SWEET AND VOLUNTEERING BRIDESMAIDS AROUND HERE! But NO, they all live IN OTHER STATES! So i have to do all this stuff BY MYSELF!! Aren't the bridesmaids supposed to be, like, HELPFUL IN THIS PROCESS?? BUT NO! HERE I AM, LOSING MY MIND, AND THEY'RE OFF GALLIVANTING AND LOLLIGAGGING AND TRAIPSING! TRAIPSING, I TELL YOU! (guilt trip! guilt trip! is it working? are you coming yet? Guilt trip!)
ug. i'm okay. i've just lost every single ever-loving brain cell my once-sharp mind ever had.
Tea, anyone? | | |
| So i'm putting this on here, unprotected, because the readership is pretty low here, and sometimes you just don't want all your personal thoughts, like, blasted right on the top of my normal xanga.
I don't know if it's the hormones from the birth control, my lack of sleep, overwhelmed-ness or Nathanael being at work until midnight, but i am just having a really hard night tonight! Mom and i were going to address invitations, but at the last minute Dad decided that he wanted them to go to this thing with some people from our church---a couples' thing. And i can't go, because Nate's not here. And i have no desire to address wedding invitations alone. I'm sad and frustrated.
Sometimes the lack of support and excitement from the people in my church and from my dad's side of the family really gets to me. I know i shouldn't let it, but i think when i'm tired the whole world seems to sorta spin the wrong direction.
When Scott and Emily got married two years ago, the entire church was totally devoted and passionate about doing whatever they possibly could to help. We spent Saturdays making biscotti and reception favors, throwing showers and wrapping gifts, the ladies took it upon themselves to handle the refreshments in between the wedding and the formal reception, there were announcement all the time, "So-and-So's doing this, and we'd like to help..." and "There's a blah-blah-blah party for whatever-it-was, and we need people to make food..." and "Is there anyone who has some room for such-and-such a relative of thus-and-who..." The volunteers came running. They just poured it all out, everywhere, all the time.
I came home from EV in the midst of this Scott-and-Emily-wedding-furor. I was even demoted to "fake Emily" by the little kids, and Scott's fiance was known as "the REAL Emily". I'd only been gone for a couple of months, and i'd known all of these little girls since they were born! Don't get me wrong, i don't hold this against Emily or Scott in ANY way. But i guess i sorta expected a similar passion for my wedding. After all, this has been my "home church" (ONLY church, really) for eighteen years. I'm the oldest "church kid" by four, five years. I led worship for three. My dad pastored for a while. I've known all these women for seven, ten, even fifteen years. Yet, when it comes time for my wedding---the first from our church to grow up here and then marry----nobody really seems to care. One of them came to Mom last week and said, "Well, we thought that you and Sarah would do the Minnesota bridal shower. After all, it IS the Maid of Honor's responsibility."
Ouch.
I know it's wrong, and presumptuous, and even a little bitter...but it really does hurt that nobody in my church really seems to care that I'm getting married. Not that it needs to be a big deal to them---it really doesn't, and i know that. But I just always thought that it would be a big thing, that there would be some sort of collective excitement. And there's not---not even a little. I mean, they ask how the plans are going, but that's about it.
After being so totally overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and time and effort and gifts that the families in Texas just heaped on us----hardly even knowing me----and the effort and creativity that they put into the showers and the gifts....I just felt so LOVED by these wonderful people!! And i barely know them. I've only visited North Belt. They just gave everything they had. I assumed....selfishly, i suppose....that my church would want to do the same.
I'm really not wanting to wallow. Just vent. I'm sorry for this awful display of selfishness...and maybe a little pride. I think i just want somebody to say, "Yeah...i understand, and that hurts." Because it really does hurt. And that stinks. | | |
| Nate's ring is bought, paid for, sized correctly and about to be hidden in my bedroom.
My ring is bought, financed, being sized and will be here on Monday. I'm really sad because i had to give them my engagement ring to size with the wedding band...so now i'm wearing my courtship ring in my ring finger, and going through massive separation anxiety. MASSIVE, i tell you.
Today we're folding invitations and beginning the addressing process. We're also finalizing the cake details and working on flower arrangements. Uncle Dave (our officiant) and Auntie Lisa have their flight booked and their hotel and car reserved for the wedding... Michael and Beth have their tickets, Rach, Rah and Ryan have their plans for coming.
I'm going lingerie shopping next weekend with my friend Rachel (from work)---we're going to buy a cute spring purse (definitely lacking in my wardrobe!) and buy enough cute and (dare i say it???) sexy lingerie to stuff that purse full. I think i'll plan on a beach-size tote. *grin*
Gosh, this is starting to be fun. I really just want to get married. Like, now. Thankyouverymuch. | | |
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